not even sure what to think

Wednesday, March 11 (technically)
I just had to post quick, it's after midnight so technically it's Wednesday...
Dr. Kinsella (the neonatologist) just came in and asked how Faith is doing. He explained that the tube they put down in fleuro this morning is bigger than any feeding tube she's ever had before (8 french) in hopes that it would be able to get further down and that it would be harder for her to vomit out. (I already knew that, since I was there when they put it in!)
Anyway, since it's apparently against the rules to let her have more than one full day comfortable and without any throw-ups, he wants to increase her feeds to 17 mL/hr and see what happens. He has said before and pretty much said again that they'd be happy with getting her to 17 mL/hr and making the rest up with TPN (not that we'd be happy or willing to settle with that, since it's only about 65% of her goal of 26 mL/hr, and in reality her goal should be increased to 27/hr based on her current weight, which makes it 63% of her goal). He said something about her not needing to be in this room anymore at that point... I think he's hinting at the "H" word- that one that rhymes with "Rome"...
I'm not letting myself go there though, and honestly even if we did get to, how much would it really matter if we're only there for a short time before leaving for Boston? 65% isn't enough for me to feel confident that her liver status will improve. I think she'd have to get to 75 or 80% before I'd feel ok about it... we'll see I guess... maybe she will prove us wrong after all, and miraculously get to full feeds or something... (but God save us if we have to go home with an NJ tube, and have to drive 45 minutes to have it put back when she pulls it out every other day!)
We'll be at 120 days, 4 months, on Friday...